Falling like the leaves in autumn

Saturday, August 29, 2009
10:05 PM

Sun, 30 Aug 2009
Day 192

i had a great time on fri. walked alot and shopped till we drop. lol.. luckily i didnt. i only got a belt =) joyce's friend wanted to meet up for lunch. and so we were invited to a chinese restaurant in northbridge. dim sum lunch~ her friend's about the same age as us, from china and is married to an australian and has a mixed blood kid. wooaaaaa~~~~~ i learnt from joyce before the lunch that she's the same age, married and has a kid. that's all. fullstop. shock no. 1 came when her husband came to pick us up to go to the restaurant - ang-moh. shock no. 2 was her husband has some white hair. i'm gauging he is about 40 plus. shock no. 3: i know the china gal! she's from my accounting (external reporting) class last semester. LOL! i only noe she's married. but not to an ang-moh! wad a small world this is..

Also, joyce's younger brother, same age as amanda, was also from CJC. that means there's a possibility that amanda's boyfriend may know him! they even joined the frisbee inter-house competition. wad are the odds?

these few days so cold... last morn it reached as low as 2 degrees. i kept on shivering. i tot i was falling sick. last morn went to give choon kiat a surprise! cooked him some kong ba bao and made jellies. went out early in the morn to get a small chocolate cake for him too =) then drove all the way to murdoch. we tried our very best to light up the candle. but the wind was so cold and strong that it kept on extinguishing the fire. sang bdae song for him i aso zao siah cos i was shivering. lol so paiseh.. he didnt even get to blow the candle cos the flame extinguished just after we sang finish the bdae song. haha.. but yea.. hope he had a good 21st with his parents yesterday =D

last nite aso had a bdae bash for the priest. everyone who came brought a dish to the table. mama made sushi and jellies.. initially, the spread on the buffet table was quite pathetic. i thought with so many pple, it's not gonna feed everyone. but half hour later, the table was packed with food. not a single space was left on the table. i must admit, there's quite a variety of desserts. there was also fruit punch, added with champagne. GOOD man~~ we clapped as father pavol stepped into the party room. sang him a bdae song, said grace and everyone dug into the food. after that, there was singning and dancing. the songs all old old one.. lol but u see all the kids just dancing non-stop. we got up to dance too. one of the songs was "Go Johnny Go". hehe LOVED that.. =) wad a night. but sadly we didnt stay to see the father cut his cake cos' mama was tired. so we went home. but i'm glad i danced. it was fun..

it's sunday and 2 wks has passed since i last submitted my applications for singapore internship. they stated that 2 wks was the cut-off point to see if u've got any replies. if u didnt, u were not shortlisted. and i'm not =(

u noe.. keeping quiet is not the answer either. i tot he'd realise i was acting differently but he doesnt. i'm such a loser. why am i not able to voice out my unhappiness?

Thursday, August 27, 2009
8:16 AM

Thur, 27 Aug 2009
Day 188

sometimes work sucks.. it really does. some managers are just ****** i wish i can just throw the burgers at them.

i had a weird and sad dream a couple of days back. i dreamt of siew hui and me.. really very random. both of us were at the ground floor of a HDB block and we were shooting at each other with GUNS! hiding behind walls and shooting from the corners. i thought i saw ming wei at the background aso haha! and i dunno why but no matter how many times i shoot siew hui, she cant seem to die. lol.. and she keeps on shooting me in the butt!!! ahhh so painful.. then finally i managed to shoot her down and she collapsed in my arms. and when she was saying her dying words, i felt so bad i burst out into tears. i was crying so horribly and kept on apologising. and i tink in real life, my nose started to get stuffy and i couldnt breathe so i woke up from the dream.. so funny hor? i want to kill her but i feel so sad when i succeed. but why wld i wan her dead in the first place? she's my good friend! my dreams are just so random.. -.-"

i was just thinkin abt us the other day and realised that we've already been tgt for 2 yrs 8 mths but effectively, we've only spent 1 yr tgt take away maybe 1 mth because of army BMT. the time i am away from him (1 yr 8 mths) is MORE than the amt of time i spend with him (1yr)! not to mention i've to add another 3 more mths till i go back. which makes it almost 2 yrs! double the time i spend with him.. oh gosh.. this isnt helping me at all..

Wednesday, August 26, 2009
8:14 AM

Wed, 26 Aug 2009
Day 187

this week is tuition free week! but i dun seem to have any free time.. weird. i'm always busy.. mmm~ haven started on my assignment which is due in 2 wks time.. argh! but so lazy la.....

i met someone new this semester =D she's from spore too! her name is joyce and i click with her.. there are others from spore whom i come across but it's only hi-bye relationships with them. joyce reminds me so much of ying hui.. i just dunno why. maybe its the way she talks lol.. and its so easy to talk to her, just like how it is with ying hui.. i'm going shopping with her this fri, along with amanda! go out relax relax abit.. cos last wk handed in an assignment and had a test.. oh gosh.. the test ah.. i spent the ENTIRE day thinking abt the qsn and i still cant come up with the answer. there's only one qsn and it's worth 10 marks! which makes up 10% of the whole unit assessment!!! i dun wan to get 0 marks!

i'm feeling down.. but i'm compelled to be understanding as well.. how to combine the two? hang in there for another wk or 2 then decide wad to do.. haiz..

Thursday, August 20, 2009
7:54 AM

Thur, 20 Aug 2009
Day 181

mama bought mooncakes!!! yes i noe.. it's not anywhere near mooncake festival.. but over here, the best time to eat them is now.. cos businesses normally import them during this time period and they'll keep it for 2 mths until oct - mooncake festival. so gross rite? the last i had it around end aug, oct so the mooncake didnt taste that gd le. i tink the last i had such gd mooncakes was 2 yrs ago.. see how deprived i am? mama bought double yolk mooncakes. soooo SHIOK! amanda and sharon dunno how to eat the egg yolks so i kapo theirs. WAHAHAH!

my new-found favourites is olives! i used to hate the taste alot. but now i quite like it =) but i still dun really fancy century egg.. eeerrghhhh...

ahhhh my leg pain pain.. wad u call the area around the part joining my leg and pelvic bone? my mum says its the groin. haiz.. it really hurts. last time i had an old injury. and becos now the weather's pretty bad (been raining everyday for the past week so cold cold), i tink the pain came back again.. it affects my whole day and can last for about a week. aiyoz..

Saturday, August 15, 2009
5:34 AM

Sat, 15 Aug 2009
Day 176

it was raining cats and dogs today.. well almost the whole day. so it's kinda cold now.. with all the cold draft.. there were also a few showers of hail stones.. quite alot lei.. lucky i'm at home the whole day, well except for church..

and we had sushi!!! homemade sushi.. mama bought a sushi making pack back in spore and brought it here to try. there was the seaweed, the condiments to make the rice. we bought raw SMOKED SALMON too!!! mama cut some zucchini and cooked some chicken - all to put as stuffing in the seaweed wrapped sushi. made 10 rolls in total and had it for lunch. im surprised it was filling =)

i'm a much happier person now.. but not full glass happy yet. with the help of a friend, i'm considering other options and opportunities. i hope it works out for me! gonna pray hard hard =D wish me luck!

Thursday, August 13, 2009
2:17 AM

Thur, 13 Aug 2009
Day 174

sean, u're right. i shldn't pour all my feelings out here whenever i feel like it. i shld have been more sensitive. Sometimes, it's better if we keep our feelings to ourselves. at least only one person hurts. i've just made a huge mistake and i dunno how to redeem myself. i only noe it's best to keep quiet now and let time heal itself. i just hope it's soon.. *big sighhhhhhh

Wednesday, August 12, 2009
1:49 AM

Wed, 12 Aug 2009
Day 173

why am i still feeling the same way? i thought i've made up my mind. but considering this is the last internship i can actually do before i graduate, i cant seem to put my mind at ease. i'm giving up this chance. do i really want to? =(

Tuesday, August 11, 2009
8:05 AM

Tue, 11 Aug 2009
Day 172

i'm finally free!!!! =) i've freed myself of the problem that has troubled me for months! i wanted to do internship but most of the companies here that offer that only have it during the summer break (dec-feb). and it breaks my heart cos' i aso wan to go home to spore. why is life so unfair? why cant we have the best of both worlds? that way, it'll solve everything. everyone's telling me that internship is good for ur future - i shld give it a shot. i've tried once and failed. but that really isnt the main issue. i can still try again at other companies. i'm more prepared now, knowing wad qsns i wld be asked and wad situations i wld be put into if i do get offered an interview.

But i miss home.. so badly. i miss my boyfriend. the middle of the year is always the hardest for me. cos i still have halfway more to go. at least in mar, apr, i still have the memories fresh in my mind and i wun feel that bad. but in jul, oh man! everything just starts tumbling down cos i've spent so much time here. i always feel the lowest at this time of the year.

i've made up my mind to forgo a higher chance of getting a job in the future and trade it for an earlier flight home. to me, family and friends are priority no. 1. the rest can wait. though i'm still struggling with the idea if i've made a wrong decision, but i feel it in my heart that i'm more than 50% inclined to going home at the end of the year. i wouldnt miss christmas, new year's day, chinese new year and valentine's day for the world.

moreover, i may consider doing honours. if i do, then i may be able to delay my internship? i dunno whether they gt internships for honour students. mmm.. and not forgetting, honour students that graduate have a higher chance of finding a job! so i'm crossing my fingers and hoping that this plan can help me to get a job soon after graduation. after graduation lei, i've yet to decide. the future's still a blur. shld i work in perth or go back spore to find a job? some of my friends were saying work in australia for a few years. once u get experience, then move back to spore - easier to find a job this way. but its easier than done. there are alot of factors i've to consider, some of which i hold very dear to my heart. like am i going to be able to sustain my relationship with him if i do that? this is so frustrating... i nv really discussed abt the future with him. dunno whether we're too scared to talk abt it or wad.. but i wonder wad he thinks. i wan to noe how he feels.

Sunday, August 9, 2009
2:09 AM

Sun, 9 Aug 2009
Day 170

i have so many things on my mind. i wish i can just chuck them away. it's making me so confused and irritated with myself. haisssss..... feel like my heart is so heavy..

Friday, August 7, 2009
6:24 AM

Fri, 7 Aug 2009
Day 168

i cant believe my bruise is the size of two 50 cent coins. argh! other pple might tink i'm being abused cos gt one big red red patch on my hand. hahaha!

Thursday, August 6, 2009
5:31 AM

Thur, 6 Aug 2009
Day 167

today's a bad day.. hurt my hand by hitting myself against sth hard at work. now my whole hand is swollen. u noe how it feels when u hurt ur elbow? the feeling of numbness and sharp pain. yea this was how i felt. i cldnt even squeeze the ketchup bottles properly after that =( and becos i couldnt really use my right hand well, instead of pouring the onion rings into the basket to cook, i accidentally dropped some into the oil and it spilled up towards me. now my hand gt another 2 more burn marks. last year gt one on the same hand and the scar is still there. gosh.. i'm gonnna turn out so ugly. burn scars everywhere. haiz..

mama cooked tea leaf eggs today! she bought the herbal egg ingredient packet back in spore and brought it here. yeh! so long nv eat le. heex.. she wanted to give some to my relatives as well as our neighbours. but sharon said dun give our neighbours. she so greedy hey.. haha

mmm one of my tutors is from china and her english pronounciation is horrible..somemore she's teaching auditing. its all words and australian standards. -.-" i wonder why the uni hire her lea. i mean this is an australian sch. there'll be many australian students around. how would they be able to understand her teaching? cos i don't sometimes. for them, i tink it's worse! plus for this auditing unit, there's no model answer for the tutorial qsns. so she just talks and gives the main points. ahhh crap. am i going to survive this unit?

i cant believe that people dare to give counterfeit notes here. someone gave a $100 counterfeit note today. my manager checked the cash till to count the money and realised the $100 note was smaller than usual and that the colour was a little dark. she used a paper and dab water on it and the colour came off. genuine notes are supposed to be plastic so the colour wun come off. the gal responsible for that till had to pay $100 to replace the fake note. so poor thing la.. wad i dun understand is why cant they just report this to the head office? why must make her pay? my manager was nice enuff to split half half with that gal but she refused. this kind of situation happened b4. but it was a $50 note then. $100 is really alot of money lei.. luckily i nv handle money. i tink i'll cry if i have to choke out $100 of my own money.

Saturday, August 1, 2009
2:48 AM

Sat, 1 Aug 2009
Day 162

yehz! mama is coming home tmr.. so is ck. yest my cousin, clement, came to visit us. he just flew from brisbane after his studies to find a job here. he's currently living with his friend now. but i tink he's trying to find an apartment for himself. but one room apartment costs quite a alot. according to him, its about $300 plus per week? yikes! and our house rental is only $350 per week. my mum did offer him a room at our place so i tink he came over last nite to have a look at the house. but i guess he's still considering. actually our rented house isnt very big. so if he's coming to stay, amanda and sharon have to give up their study room. i'm kinda happy if he comes to stay =) moreover, he doesnt have to pay so much for a room. maybe about $85 per week? well that's my mum's decision.

clement came over last night with the vodka cruisers that amanda asked him to buy -.-" tgt with his gf and another guy friend. i was surprised his gf came along.. mmm~~~ i realli dunno he is 25 yrs old already. he doesnt look like his age. he looks younger. then i realised oh yar hor, im already 21 =( so old.. guess our family all have the young-looking genes heh heh heh!