Falling like the leaves in autumn

Wednesday, November 25, 2009
8:13 PM

Thur, 26 Nov 2009
Day 281

my worst nightmare.. i nv dreamed of failing my driving test but i did. miserably.. well i did think in that direction but i was telling myself and even GOD that i'll pass this bloody test! but i damn suai suai got the hardest and strictest driving assessor. my instructor was actually filling me on all the assessors, their behaviour, how they look and commented that the guy with the moustache and belly whose name is Paul is the worst of all. he picks on the smallest fault. that's why everyone calls him the 'TERMINATOR'! wad a name but how true it is.. but i cant say this time he's picky cos i DID make a mistake. well quite a few to me. but he told my instructor that the only thing he failed me was becos he intervened when i went too close to the side of the road. he told me to change lanes, i looked in the mirror and didnt see the road ahead in that sec and i wld hav hit the side of the road if he didnt turn my wheel. i was cursing myself cos i was just 2 mins away from the end of my driving test. i was SOOOO close to the licensing centre. and i had to stuff up - just like wad my previous substitute instructor wld sae. HATE him to the core. so i wasnt surprised when my current and favourite instructor, rima, said they fired him.

it was soo cold in the morning. i tink it was abt 15 degrees. and i didnt bring a jacket. i was shivering. and i swear the pple beside me and even the assessors tot i was nervous cos i was shaking so badly. lucky rima, she gt her jacket wif her.

haiz.. i didnt wake up at 4.55am just to fail!!! im realli damn damn disappointed wif myself. the assessor wrote so much stuff on his paper. rima said the rest of the instructors who were waiting for their students to return from their test were joking abt me - saying they'll tink i'll fail and paul isnt going to hav enuff space in his comment column to write all my flaws in. so evil la! but they're right =( he did fill up the whole box. and instead of just 35 mins of driving, i gt 46 mins. he made me do all the different scenarios! he was supposed to do either 'stop for shopping' which is parking in a mall OR 'left something behind' which is parking near a house and then returning to it again after he tells me i forgot something in the house and got to go back a.k.a doing 3 pt. turns. yea i did everything. and the 3 pt. turns TWICE somemore. gosh.. i tell u. i saw the clock 7.30am. i was supposed to finish at 7.35am and i thought i was done when he asked me to pull alongside a telephone booth. but instead he asked me to turn back into the carpark by doing a 3 pt. turn, after which i was to do a reverse park. he's sooo mean i tell u!

as soon as i stopped the car, he explained to me all my mistakes and it was pretty long so my instructor knew sth was wrong. and i stepped outside, he talked to rima and when i turned back wif rima, tears welled up in my eyes. and i tink she saw it so she took me out for a drive for me to cool down and wait for the licensing centre to open b4 we can book another test. actually im not allowed to book another test till 7 days later. but i was going home on thursday and there wasnt enuff time. so we played cheat and managed to get another slot. the pinch was i had to pay for another driving test. so expensive =( who ask me to be so lousy? my 2nd sister passed first time round and i failed. oh wow.. wad an embarrassment. she gt the sweetest and most easiest assessor and i gt the worst. too bad her assessor quit his job. but rima was realli sweet. she was consoling me all the way home. saying if GOD didnt wan to giv me another chance, he wldnt hav broken the rules and given me another chance. and i guess she's right. sooo.. i'm down again on Wed, 2 dec, the day before my flight home. i gotta get it this time round. if not i'll just break down. i had alr planned going out today after my test, irregardless of the outcome, either to celebrate my success or to cure my sadness. but when i went home and broke the news to my mum, i cldnt hold back the tears. and cried again. i swear i must be made of jelly! so easily affected one. small little thing also cry.. i didnt stop till afternoon. now im all better, if nt i wldnt be writing this post. THAT'S why i cldnt go out - cos my eyes were all puffy. sighhhhhh... i just hope i dun get that assessor AGAIN on my 2nd test ='(

Monday, November 23, 2009
4:02 AM

Mon, 23 Nov 2009
Day 278

I've been having driving lessons for abt half a yr now and i still suck at driving. here's a reason why - i crashed my mum's car boot =( she screamed at me to stop reversing and suddenly tugged at my left hand. i got a shock and stepped the accelerator! we hit the garage wall quite hard and her car boot is destroyed. i'll nv forget that look on her face. she went out to inspect the damage and she kept on repeating 'oh no oh no...' with a big frown. i felt so guilty. we then went into the house and she didnt wan to look at me. i apologised to her back and headed straight to the toilet, locked it and sat down to cry. i believe i was still in shock. my driving instructor said my driving has improved but look at wad i've done! i really hav no confidence now.. at that time, i thought abt cancelling my driving test on the 2 dec. i felt i was not fit to be behind the wheels and that i was going to use the public transport all my life. i felt really really horrible then. if i gave up now, all the time and money gone into driving lessons wld hav gone to waste and i didnt wan that either.

Earlier on, i told my driving instructor to try and find an earlier date for me to do my driving test because 2 dec was quite close to my return date and i didnt wan it to be so rush. now i'm regretting it. she called me today to tell me she managed to find an earlier slot. i missed many heartbeats when i read her sms: THIS THURSDAY 7.05AM!!!!! arghhhhh!!! i'm not even ready! how can i be ready when i haven driven ever since sun when i crushed my mum's car and my confidence level has dropped to zero? oh gosh.. wad am i to do?

on another note, i finally gt a reply from CPA Australia regarding my internship. though it's not my first 3 preferred choices but the last one, it's still an internship and valuable all right. the company is called LTC LLP. wadever it is.. nv heard of it b4. my first 3 choices were Ernst and Young, KPMG and Deloitte. and sadly, i can oni apply for a maximum of 4 internships. so yea then again, i changed my flight after 4 failed attempts to persuade my parents and this time, i've to pay for amanda and my change of flight penalty fee. aiz.. but i'm not regretting it. i get to go home earlier! yeh! cya all very soon =)

Thursday, November 12, 2009
5:26 AM

Thur, 12 Nov 2009
Day 267

oh yeh!! away with exams!!!! im been so exhausted the past few days. pushing myself to the limit last nite by not slpin in order to prepare for my final paper. i always seem to hav a trend of not slpin b4 my final exam paper hey. and not to forget, falling sick during the study week. started coughing about 2 wks ago and i noe it'll nt go away until i finish exams and hav time to rest. it's so tiring having to endure till then.. and i've been having gastric pains for the past few days due to my insanely weird exam timings. once i reached home after my exams at nite, i just went to bed cos i was in so much pain to even study. had a paper everyday with 2 papers at nite, 1 in the afternoon and the last in the morn. that's why i didnt hav enuff time to prepare - had to psycho myself to stay awake. 4 days in a row - why must they always do THIS to US?! sth, it's not a blessing to be so persistent and self-disciplied. it comes at the expense of ur health. cant wait to finish my degree.... one more sem charmaine and you're done!! ahh damn jor, why must u finish so fast?!! i've alr enrolled in my classes and i oni hav 2 days of uni!! haha i like =)

two saturdays ago, i went out for dinner with my work colleagues to celebrate 2 of my manager's bdae. we ate at burswood - a casino complex. had buffet. and just nice, it was halloween that day - 31 oct - saw people all dressed up in halloween clothes. quite cool. the restaurant threw in a FOC chocolate cake cos they knew it was a bdae occassion. so sweet.. wanted to go to the casino but my friend didnt bring her passport so she cldnt go in. and so, our group separated and some of us went home while the rest stayed. mmm wanted to go see de. nv been to one b4. heh heh..

anyway, to all my friends who are studying for their exams.. jiayou and dun give up!! to deardear, kambatte! ok im crashing now. so tired. take care everyone!

that was on purpose. lol im just jk..

i wanna go on holiday lei.. so long nv go le. it's always spore to perth, perth to spore. i wanna go somewhere else.