Falling like the leaves in autumn

Tuesday, August 11, 2009
8:05 AM

Tue, 11 Aug 2009
Day 172

i'm finally free!!!! =) i've freed myself of the problem that has troubled me for months! i wanted to do internship but most of the companies here that offer that only have it during the summer break (dec-feb). and it breaks my heart cos' i aso wan to go home to spore. why is life so unfair? why cant we have the best of both worlds? that way, it'll solve everything. everyone's telling me that internship is good for ur future - i shld give it a shot. i've tried once and failed. but that really isnt the main issue. i can still try again at other companies. i'm more prepared now, knowing wad qsns i wld be asked and wad situations i wld be put into if i do get offered an interview.

But i miss home.. so badly. i miss my boyfriend. the middle of the year is always the hardest for me. cos i still have halfway more to go. at least in mar, apr, i still have the memories fresh in my mind and i wun feel that bad. but in jul, oh man! everything just starts tumbling down cos i've spent so much time here. i always feel the lowest at this time of the year.

i've made up my mind to forgo a higher chance of getting a job in the future and trade it for an earlier flight home. to me, family and friends are priority no. 1. the rest can wait. though i'm still struggling with the idea if i've made a wrong decision, but i feel it in my heart that i'm more than 50% inclined to going home at the end of the year. i wouldnt miss christmas, new year's day, chinese new year and valentine's day for the world.

moreover, i may consider doing honours. if i do, then i may be able to delay my internship? i dunno whether they gt internships for honour students. mmm.. and not forgetting, honour students that graduate have a higher chance of finding a job! so i'm crossing my fingers and hoping that this plan can help me to get a job soon after graduation. after graduation lei, i've yet to decide. the future's still a blur. shld i work in perth or go back spore to find a job? some of my friends were saying work in australia for a few years. once u get experience, then move back to spore - easier to find a job this way. but its easier than done. there are alot of factors i've to consider, some of which i hold very dear to my heart. like am i going to be able to sustain my relationship with him if i do that? this is so frustrating... i nv really discussed abt the future with him. dunno whether we're too scared to talk abt it or wad.. but i wonder wad he thinks. i wan to noe how he feels.