Falling like the leaves in autumn

Monday, November 23, 2009
4:02 AM

Mon, 23 Nov 2009
Day 278

I've been having driving lessons for abt half a yr now and i still suck at driving. here's a reason why - i crashed my mum's car boot =( she screamed at me to stop reversing and suddenly tugged at my left hand. i got a shock and stepped the accelerator! we hit the garage wall quite hard and her car boot is destroyed. i'll nv forget that look on her face. she went out to inspect the damage and she kept on repeating 'oh no oh no...' with a big frown. i felt so guilty. we then went into the house and she didnt wan to look at me. i apologised to her back and headed straight to the toilet, locked it and sat down to cry. i believe i was still in shock. my driving instructor said my driving has improved but look at wad i've done! i really hav no confidence now.. at that time, i thought abt cancelling my driving test on the 2 dec. i felt i was not fit to be behind the wheels and that i was going to use the public transport all my life. i felt really really horrible then. if i gave up now, all the time and money gone into driving lessons wld hav gone to waste and i didnt wan that either.

Earlier on, i told my driving instructor to try and find an earlier date for me to do my driving test because 2 dec was quite close to my return date and i didnt wan it to be so rush. now i'm regretting it. she called me today to tell me she managed to find an earlier slot. i missed many heartbeats when i read her sms: THIS THURSDAY 7.05AM!!!!! arghhhhh!!! i'm not even ready! how can i be ready when i haven driven ever since sun when i crushed my mum's car and my confidence level has dropped to zero? oh gosh.. wad am i to do?

on another note, i finally gt a reply from CPA Australia regarding my internship. though it's not my first 3 preferred choices but the last one, it's still an internship and valuable all right. the company is called LTC LLP. wadever it is.. nv heard of it b4. my first 3 choices were Ernst and Young, KPMG and Deloitte. and sadly, i can oni apply for a maximum of 4 internships. so yea then again, i changed my flight after 4 failed attempts to persuade my parents and this time, i've to pay for amanda and my change of flight penalty fee. aiz.. but i'm not regretting it. i get to go home earlier! yeh! cya all very soon =)